Despite a massive outpouring of support from those who loathe him, John Kerry has lost. The entire KH4K community is filled with a combination of dread and relief -- in other words, roughly what we would have felt if he'd won. But maybe in different proportions.

To all who visited and participated, we say: The KH4K cause does not end today. It ended Tuesday! Our fight has not just begun. It's over! Where do we go from here? Somewhere else!

But please buy a T-shirt -- they're collectibles now! Thanks.

HARRY SMITH: I actually saw a Web site called `Kerry Haters for Kerry.'

SEN. KERRY: That must be a jolly place.


It was, on Nov. 1!

Kerry Rallies His Base of Kerry Haters!
Lukewarm, hostile supporters plan for big turnout
Outpouring of ennui and fatalism.

Election eve teeth-gritting, nose-holding, morale-fabricating events in D.C. and New York to steel staunch KH4Kers for the coming four years.

FIND OTHER KH4Kers with print-out lapel tags!

Meet fellow Kerry supporters who are just as unenthusiastic as you are!

Compare stories about how terminally lame your candidate is!

Figure out how you will try to avoid listening to him until 2008.

Pretend to work up a semblance of enthusiasm to do what all KH4Kers know they must do on November 2.

OVER HERE! Download n' print the poster for your table!

Suggested meet 'n greet lines:

-- Do you hate both of them, or just Kerry?

-- Do you think he's a flip-flopper, or more of a straddler?

-- Maybe he's just deep, you know. I have friends like that.

-- My favorite Kerry Iraq position is #17. What's yours?

-- He showed you his old Vietnam movies too? That's so weird!

-- Is that a provisional ballot in your pocket or are you just thinking of Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter?

-- Are you Wonkette?

-- Is that Wonkette over there?

"I remain totally unimpressed by John Kerry. Outside of his opposition to the death penalty, I've never seen him demonstrate any real political courage. His baby steps in the direction of reform liberalism during the 1990s were all followed by hasty retreats. His Senate vote against the 1991 Gulf War demonstrates an instinctive aversion to the use of American force, even when it's clearly justified. Kerry's major policy proposals in this campaign range from implausible to ill-conceived. He has no real idea what to do differently in Iraq. His health-care plan costs too much to be practical and conflicts with his commitment to reducing the deficit. At a personal level, he strikes me as the kind of windbag that can only emerge when a naturally pompous and self-regarding person marinates for two decades inside the U.S. Senate. If elected, Kerry would probably be a mediocre, unloved president on the order of Jimmy Carter."-- Jacob Weisberg, endorsing John Kerry, Slate, Oct. 26

"I can't remember ever voting for anybody I disliked as much as I do John Kerry, at least not for president, but vote for him I will. I didn't have much use for Al Gore either, but I don't remember any real sense of hostility before punching the hole next to his name. . . . I can't persuade anybody to vote for a candidate for whom I can muster so little enthusiasm, but there must be an awful lot of people out there who are going to cast votes next week for Kerry who are, like me, discouraged by the prospect and needing one of those you-are-not-alone talks."-- Mark Brown, endorsing John Kerry, Chicago Sun-Times, Oct. 27

"Sen. John Kerry is the least appealing candidate the Democrats have nominated for president in my lifetime. I'm 46, so that covers Kennedy, Johnson, Humphrey, McGovern, Carter, Mondale, Dukakis, Clinton, and Gore. McGovern, Mondale, and Dukakis get the worst press in this bunch, but I liked all three of them and still do. I can't pretend to like John Kerry. He's pompous, he's an opportunist, and he's indecisive." (Timothy Noah, endorsing Kerry in Slate)

WALLY SHAWN: Well, I -- I think that, you know, it's an awful situation. I don't -- certainly things are not going to become -- I mean, Kerry will be like Clinton or maybe worse. He's -- people don't usually -- you know, they rarely surprise you in a good way; but I think that, yeah, it's important to tell the world that, you know, we didn't like this, the things that have happened under Bush. I think we have to make the statement -- that, you know, we don't want to go on that road anymore. So, you know, for me it's humiliating to vote for Kerry, because I don't respect him; but I would -- I will -- it's unpleasant, it's like killing a big rat that is running around your apartment. It must be done. But you're not proud of it. But you have to do it. So, we have to tell other people, I think, that, you know, we didn't approve.

Good news! Kerry is gaining in some polls, and it may be too late for the voters to get to really know him!

After John Kerry won the first debate, we got email telling us that KH4K's time had passed. Kerry had his groove now! He's finally closing! Then came the second half of debate #2, when a more familiar windy, name-dropping and condescending Kerry reemerged.

Let's not kid ourselves: We're not going to vote for this man in a wave of enthusiasm and commitment. If he wins, it's gonna be a grim four years! Don't ask us to be blind to the obvious. Don't try to make us love him!

We need to be strong. In the dark hours, when you think, "Can I really vote for this guy? Isn't he, like, a gigantic turkey," the KH4K community will be here for you, whispering, "Yes, you can! ... And yes, he is!"

Are you going to vote for John Kerry even though you find him unpleasant, annoying, arrogant, waffling, misguided, or just generally unappealing in some profound way? Then you've come to the right place! We're Kerry Haters for Kerry -- perhaps his largest constituency! No need to hide in the Kerryhating closet anymore while you pretend to everyone that he'll be a great president. Here you are among friends. You can speak freely and honestly. You can admit: 'He's awful! And I'm for him!'

Each of us has his or her reasons for arriving at this position. Share yours here. Disaffected Republicans welcomed!

- Submitted by K.S.

Bumper stickers can be printed out full-size. (1. Click. 2. Print. 3. Slather with paste. Or save yourself the trouble and visit the KH4k gift shop.)

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